Monday, August 10, 2009
Are you for real????
Last week I had an experience that made me feel very discouraged. Let me preface the whole situation. I called this woman in the morning because I needed to be fitted for a dress to be in an orchestra. I called her the morning on the day that the fitting was scheduled. Mind you there was no call by date or anything I was just told to call her. So anyhow while talking to her on the phone she started lecturing me that I should call earlier and implied that I was a rude person. I felt upset by the whole situation because all she needed to so was to say I'm sorry but I need advance notice for this. I would have been fine with that. I did not need a lecture!!! The whole day I was thinking to myself get over it everything is fine. Forgive, forget and move on. So I did, but then that night I got there and I was there right on time. I was being very courteous and told her I was sorry. After I tried on the dresses I found what I thought looked great on me. I went out and said I like this and she said well try on a smaller size. I was greatful for that, but then when I came back out to have her make sure that it looked all right she said well your tummy will go down after you get up and chase after your kids more. I was like, "Are you for real????" I did not say anything because I was shocked. I have lost over 30 pounds since January. I still have 5 more to go, but really? I could not believe that she said that. I mean really!!!! I left as soon as I could because I was so shocked. Anyhow it has caused me some grief these past few days and I'm struggling to get over this. I was feeling so great about what I had accomplished and was feeling real great because I'm getting so much faster in my running and I have more energy to chase after the kids and then she implies that I'm fat. Good grief. I need to get over it so if anyone has suggestions on how to move on please feel free to share.
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8 comments:
Are you KIDDING???! Remind me to NEVER go to whoever she was for ANY type of fitting! Sheesh! Carol, you look AMAZING!! Don't EVER let ANYONE make you think different!
I had a similar experience with an OB/GYN doctor. I had gone in for something not even related to my weight, and I never brought it up. So I was kinda bothered when he started giving me "pointers" on how to loose the "weight in my stomach and thighs"!!! It bothered me pretty bad. I wish I had told him, "Well, you should have seen me before I lost these last 100 pounds!" and then watch him try to talk himself out of that one! Some people have some serious nerve!
Seriously, Carol, you are BEAUTIFUL! I would give ANYTHING to look as wonderful as you! Keep it up! :)
Here's my take on it:
I have learned (perhaps it was turning 30---kind of empowered me to not put up with other's poor treatment of me anymore) to not put up with such crap. About a year and a half ago I was stuck seeing the "chief" of medicine at the clinic I have to go to as a student. I had a sinus infection. I've had dozens of these in my life, so I know how they feel, I know how I feel when I have them, and I knew I had one (plus my niece, nephew, bro-in-law, and I all had the same symptoms). Well, this numbskull doctor decided to lecture me, and seriously got in my face yelling and spitting on me how it was allergies (mainly cause I would not just "cow tail" to her when she tried to dismiss every last piece of medical history I gave her) and I argued back. I finally looked straight at her and said "I am 30 years old. I know my body, I know what a sinus infection feels like, and I know that's what I have. So, either you give me the antibiotics now, or have me come back, miserable, in 2 more days. But either way, I know my body, I know what I have, and that's what I have." Needless to say, I left with a prescription in hand, and I now flat out refuse to be seen by the "chief". I think she wrote some horrible note on my "file"....but seriously, screw her. That is when I started my saying "I am older than 30! I refuse to be lectured by anyone as I am now too old to be lectured!
If it was me, I'd call her up and kindly say that I appreciate her time, but I will be finding someone else to assist me with fitting my dress, because I appreciate being treated in a respectful manner by someone whom I am PAYING for a service---not being belittled by someone who I am PAYING to do a service for me. Thank you. Works really well if you can leave a message.
Otherwise....I'm afraid the only other advice I can give is from Eleanor Roosevelt (I usually hate getting quotes from people, but this is what comes to mind) "No one can make us inferior without our consent." Physically we are all what ever we are. I personally remind myself that people who belittle others based upon how they look are doing so because THEY feel so inferior themselves. Thus, it is THEIR issue, not mine. Most people especially respond when I confidently carry who I am and what size I am (whatever size I am)....cause they probably don't feel that confident about themselves.
Anyway...hope that helps.
Your cuz--Mary P.
Oh my heck Carol... Are we even friends anymore!!!??? I can't believe you didn't tell me about this!!! Especially if you were upset because I've talked to you like everyday!!! You are not a rude person, and you do look great! This woman sounds like a lady in my mom's ward... It's just the way she is... Let it be her problem, not yours! What orchestra are you doing??? I'll probably just ask you about it tomorrow actually! ;).
Carol, you look great! She was probably just jealous of you.
Hey Carol-
I noticed how much weight you have lost when we hung out at your house the other week. I should have said something- way to go- you look great!
I'm sure you look great, but that is beside the point. People who feel the need to say such rude things should not even be bothered with. You are an amazing women to all those who really know you, pay no heed to this lady's very misguided opinion. I think you are beautiful!!!
Carol Kind and Dear,
I love you so much! Don't get angry, it won't help you feel better. Say a prayer for this lady, who probably is very sad in her life right now, and ask Heavenly Father to take away your hurt feelings. It takes a while sometimes, but this woman doesn't mean too much to you and you likely won't ever see her again. Remember how proud of yourself you are, how hard you are working, how much people love you. Satan wants you to be discouraged and give up. Don't listen. Love to you all!
Carol, First of all, Rock on for being in an orchestra and needing a real dress for it anyways. I think the advice you have received already is good. Just wanted to sign on and say I Love you and miss you.
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